𝐁𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐌𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

What is God’s plan for marriage?

Contemporary culture is considerably confused regarding the nature of marriage. Only by returning to the biblical foundation for marriage and the family will we be able to rediscover God’s good and perfect plan for humanity in this all-important area of our lives.

Rooted in Creation (Genesis 1–3)

The book of Genesis, tells the story of how families, couples as well as children, established their relationship with each other and with God. In exploring the biblical teaching on marriage, there is no more important paradigm than God’s intended pattern for marriage presented in Genesis 1–3. Marriage is shown to be rooted in God’s creative act of making humanity in his image as male and female. The depiction of the original creation of man and woman and the subsequent fall of humanity in Genesis 1–3 centers on at least three vital clusters of principles:

1.    The man and the woman are created in God’s image to rule the earth for God; In this sense, then, human beings are “like God.” Just as God rules over a large domain—the whole universe—so, humanity is given charge of the entire earth to rule it for God. This also establishes the principle of stewardship: God, not the man and the woman, is ultimately the owner of the created realm; the man and the woman are simply the divinely appointed caretakers.

This stewardship is a joint stewardship shared by the man and the woman. Together they are to exercise it according to the will and for the glory of God. Together they are to multiply and be stewards of the children God will give them. And together they are to subdue the earth by a division of labour that assigns to the man the primary responsibility to provide for his wife and children, and to the woman the care for and nurture of her family.

2.    The man is created first and is given ultimate responsibility for the marriage relationship, while the woman is placed alongside the man as his “suitable helper”.

Not only does Paul draw attention to the fact that the man was created first, but he also points out that it is not the man who was made for the woman, but the woman for the man (1 Cor. 11:9; see Gen. 2:18, 20) and from the man (1 Cor. 11:8, 12; see Gen. 2:22).

The man was the one who received the divine command (Gen. 2:16–17), was presented with the woman (Gen. 2:22), and named the woman with a name derived from his own (Gen. 2:23; see 3:20), which also implies his authority. God’s creation of Eve demonstrates that his plan for Adam’s marriage, and all subsequent marriages, involves a monogamous heterosexual relationship. God only made one helper for Adam, and she was female. What is more, it was God who perceived Adam’s aloneness and created the woman. It is only when men and women embrace the God-ordained roles that they will be truly fulfilled and God’s creational wisdom will be fully displayed and exalted

3.    The fall of humanity entails negative consequences for both the man and the woman. The fall witnesses a complete reversal of the roles God assigns to the man and the woman. Rather than God’s being in charge, with the man, helped by the woman, ruling creation for him, Satan, in the form of a serpent, approaches the woman, who draws the man with her into rebellion against the Creator. the couple is expelled from the garden (Gen. 3:24) as a sign that their rebellion against the Creator had met with severe sanctions that would cast an ominous shadow on their marriage during their sojourn on earth from that time onward.

Can a Christian marry more than one wife?

While it certainly was within the Creator’s prerogative and power to make more than one wife for the man, God intentionally made only Eve, revealing to Adam his plan with the words, “A man [singular] shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife [singular], and they shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24). The sin and disorder produced by polygamy, then, is further testimony to the goodness of God’s monogamous design of marriage as first revealed in the marriage of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden.

Is Marriage Permanent or Divorce permissible?

Another component of God’s design for marriage that Old Testament Israel regularly compromised is the durability of marriage. The opening chapters of Genesis make clear that God designed marriage to be permanent. This is evident in the paradigmatic description of marriage in Genesis 2:24: “A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” God does not approve of divorce, for the Old Testament on several occasions uses the analogy of divorce to describe Israel’s spiritual apostasy (see Isa. 50:1; Jer. 3:8), and the prophet Malachi makes clear that God does not approve of divorce motivated by hatred (Mal. 2:16).

Jesus denies that you can divorce for any reason. By quoting Genesis 2:24, he confirms that marriage is a covenant. It is not a casual relationship that can be discarded easily. It creates a strong new unity that may only be broken under very serious conditions. But he goes on to say that these serious conditions do exist, because of “the hardness of your hearts.” That means that sometimes human hearts become so hard because of sin that it leads a spouse into a severe violation of the covenant, without prospects of repentance and healing, and in such cases, divorce is permitted. The only such violation that Jesus names in this passage is adultery. In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul adds another ground—namely, wilful desertion. These actions essentially break the covenant vow so thoroughly, that, as Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:15, the wronged spouse “is not bound.”

To allow divorce for almost any reason is to hollow out the very concept of covenant and vow. Divorce should not be easy; it should not be our first, second, third, or fourth resort.

What about Adultery?

While it could be argued that fidelity was Adam’s only option, his lack of an opportunity to commit adultery does not diminish the fact that fidelity is an inherent component of God’s pattern for marriage: “A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24). Another way in which God’s ideal for marriage was compromised in the history of Israel was by way of adultery. As with the principle of monogamy, however, after the fall of humankind, the Old Testament reports that numerous individuals struggled to be faithful to their marriage partners. The sexual laws in the Holiness Code stipulated, “You shall not lie sexually with your neighbour’s wife” (Lev. 18:20), setting the penalty for adultery as death (Lev. 20:10; see Num. 5:11–31; Deut. 22:22). Moreover, the book of Proverbs repeatedly classifies adultery as both foolish and dangerous (Prov. 2:16-19; 5:3–22; 6:32–33; 7:5–23; 9:13–18; 22:14; 23:27–28; 30:20).

Is Homosexuality/Same-Sex Marriage a Sin?

Well, that wasn’t on anyone’s radar in the ’80s and early ’90s. Even most gay activists considered it either out of reach or a bad idea. In fact, in just the last 15-20 years we’ve seen big changes in how we think of gender, sexuality and marriage.

Heterosexuality is an unequivocal component of the Creator’s design for marriage. Yet after the fall of humanity, the Old Testament indicates that the principle of heterosexuality was often violated through same-sex relations. Examples include many of the inhabitants of the cities of the plain, Sodom and Gomorrah (Gen. 19:1–29), the Gibeonites in the days of the judges (Judg. 19:1–21:25), as well as numerous other unnamed lawbreakers in the history of Israel (1 Kings 14:24; 15:12; 22:46; 2 Kings 23:7; Job 36:14). Despite these offences, however, the Old Testament makes clear that the principle of heterosexuality, established at creation, continues to be an integral part of God’s design for marriage. This is testified to by the severity of the punishment prescribed for homosexuality—death (Lev. 20:13)—by the presentation of heterosexuality as normative (Prov. 5:18–19; Eccl. 9:9; Song 1–8) and by the fate of individuals in the history of Israel who engaged in homosexual activity.

A Few definite reasons why the Church vehemently opposes Homosexuality/ Same-Sex Marriage.

1.    God opposes homosexuality. - Putting homosexuality in the larger context, the Bible condemns all sexual relationships outside of marriage. God’s idea is one man and one woman for life, as stated in Genesis 2:24. Jesus did indeed condemn porneia, from which our modern word pornography is derived. This word is translated as “sexual immorality” in some of our English translations. It stands for a multitude of sexual sins, all condemned in the Old Testament Law: premarital sex, adultery, homosexuality, incest, and bestiality. Furthermore, Jesus put His seal of approval on the Old Testament as God’s Word (Matt. 5:17-19).

2.    Same-sex marriage (and same-sex conjugal relations) goes against the natural order. Male with male and female with female just do not work physically. It does not fit. It goes against nature, and it creates all kinds of problems. As one wag put it, “God made Adam and Eve—He didn’t make Adam and Steve.” Here are a few of the references on homosexuality in the Scriptures. In Leviticus 20:13 we read: If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them

3.    We read in the New Testament, in Romans 1:26-28, about the plunge of man into the depths of depravity. In 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (NIV) we read: “Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders [nor others. . . will inherit the kingdom of God.” The Greek word translated as “homosexual offenders” is arsenokoites, taken from two Greek words: arsen, “male” and coitus, “copulation.” The term means exactly and precisely “male intercourse.” It says nothing about attitude or lust at all. It is the act that is condemned—and those that do it. It says they shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

4.    Neither adulterers nor fornicators nor homosexuals have any inheritance in the kingdom of God. Do not be deceived, though many today are deceived. Thankfully Paul goes on to say, “And such were some of you . . .” (1 Cor. 6:11)

5.    The biblical verdict on homosexuality is consistent. From the Pentateuch to the book of Revelation, from Jesus to Paul, from Romans to the Pastorals, Scripture with one voice affirms that homosexuality is a sin and a moral offence to God. The contemporary church corporately, and biblical Christians individually, must bear witness to the unanimous testimony of Scripture unequivocally and fearlessly.

Can we justify Cohabitation/Live-in Relationships/ Living together?

Although some people will say that a cohabiting couple (living together) is “married in the eyes of God,” that is not true. They are not married in God’s eyes because they are living contrary to biblical statements about marriage. And they are not married in their own eyes because they have specifically decided not to marry.

The increase of cyber relations has increased duplicity and shallowness in inter-personal relations. There is an increasing trend among the youth to look down on social institutions like marriage and opt for informal live-in relationships. They fail to see the benefits, which marriage as a social institution could bring to their lives. For Christians, marriage is not a mere contract between two individuals but a sacrament. Thus, it involves a deeper commitment on the part of the husband and wife.

In our fast-evolving globalized world, cultural exchanges have become common, leading to the adoption of customs and systems from one region by people in other regions, even within their own countries. Particularly, Western culture has notably influenced social norms in our society. Young individuals are increasingly moving away from traditional family customs, with the prevalence of live-in relationships rising as they gradually, albeit not entirely, replace the institution of marriage.

When asked, a youth told me that one of the many reasons behind couples choosing cohabitation over marriage is to assess compatibility and evaluate their ability to handle the responsibilities that come with marriage. This period allows them to determine if they can effectively live together and manage shared commitments.

God designed sexual intimacy to occur exclusively within the sacred commitment of marriage (Genesis 2:21-24). When we trust God’s design, we can honour marriage as we are commanded in Hebrews 13:4. The Bible teaches that the act of sexual intercourse can have a strong bonding effect on two people. When done within the bounds of marriage, the man and the woman become one flesh. Ephesians 5:31 says: “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.” Sexual intercourse outside of marriage also has consequences.

Writing to the church in Corinth, Paul said that when a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her (1 Corinthians 6:16). The context of the discussion arose from a problem within the church. A man in the church was having sexual relations with his father’s wife (1 Corinthians 5:1-3). Paul calls this relationship sinful. In 1 Corinthians 6:18, he says we are to flee sexual immorality. Sexual immorality is condemned in about 25 passages in the New Testament.

Jesus taught in Mark 7:21-23: “For from within, out of men’s hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance, and folly. All these evils come from inside and make a man unclean.” In the New Testament, believers are warned against persistent sin, including sexual sin (1 Corinthians 5:1-5). The church is to keep believers accountable for their behaviour.

Believers are to judge themselves, lest they fall into God’s hands (1 Corinthians 11:31-32). Living together outside of marriage not only violates biblical commands but it puts a couple and their future marriage at risk. If you want a good marriage, don’t do what society says. Do what the Bible teaches us to do.

There is also a naked fact that the number of believers gathering for worship and regular fellowship is reducing in the Western world. Moreover, parents who do not practice their faith, fail to teach their children the importance of faith. Very often children who grow up in families, without any Christian education abandon their faith. This leads to a steady rise of youngsters who have no connection with their local parishes. Thus, parents need to practice their faith in their homes. They need to teach their children the importance of living the gospel values.